Precious Child – I’ve Been Carrying You (Day 16)

This is the sixteenth post for our Write 31 Days series 31 Days of Miracles: Who is Our God. Today, Lynne Cole (see below for her bio) shares Part 2 of her story, A Gift of Life, which began yesterday.

The second miracle…

My pregnancy was pretty average. No complaints. I had the usual morning sickness, but to be honest, I just ate more. I love my food, so for once I didn’t feel guilty about how much I ate and what I ate. You could say that this was turning out to be a text book pregnancy (if there is such a thing).

Until one day, our whole world changed in 10 minutes! The week prior to this earth shattering moment, I started to feel ill. Not just the usual morning sickness though. I had blurred vision, dizziness, sickness, I couldn’t stop sleeping, really bad headaches and heart burn like I had eaten a vindaloo twice over . . . classic symptoms of pre-eclampsia – but I didn’t know this. I just put it down to feeling tired and I was entering my third trimester. This was normal, wasn’t it?

A week later after the symptoms started, as we came home from church, I sat on the sofa with my hubby discussing what we were going to do about the nursery. We were going to go out that afternoon to get things prepared. I was at 31 weeks and 4 days at this point, so we thought it was time to get ready.

We had only sat down for 10 minutes, and it hit me. Excruciating pain. I ran to the toilet and was bleeding uncontrollably. Fortunately, I live opposite the hospital, (another moment that we are thankful for . . . that we had moved to the right place), so we rushed over. Being a Sunday there was hardly anyone around, but my husband found someone. They took one look at me and rushed me in. 40 minutes later, through an emergency C-section, I had my daughter . . . 8 weeks early! If I had been 10 minutes later, my story would be very different.

My daughter was seriously ill and was placed in an incubator and given CPAP (this is a machine that continually provides air and oxygen into the lungs to help a baby breathe). She weighed 3lb 8oz when she was born and was so small that you could fit her in the palm of your hand. She was a little fighter though from the moment that she came out and refused CPAP. She was in hospital for just over 5 weeks. This seemed like a life time though, but we were just grateful that she was still alive. She was our little miracle.

A Third Miracle…

The miracle doesn’t stop there though. I was seriously ill, but did not know how bad. The next day after the birth, a doctor came around to have a look at me. He was worried and realised that I had a rare condition called HELLP Syndrome. This is developed from pre-eclampsia and is a rare liver and blood clotting disorder. It effects less than 1% of all pregnancies! Pretty small odds I reckon. The only way to save the mother from this condition though is to deliver the baby, despite how many weeks pregnant you are. Many women have died from this if not detected early.

God was still working His plan out though. The doctor that saved me did not work in the hospital normally. He was only there for the day and was standing in for someone else. No-one else in maternity recognised what I had or knew what my condition was. So, if he hadn’t been there that day I know that I would not be here now! The doctor was an angel from heaven that God sent to me. He was sent to look after me, and to save me.

So, I guess I could say that I am a miracle, as well as my daughter. From surviving my past, to getting pregnant, to giving birth, my daughter being saved, to my own life being saved. Wow!

Looking back, I cannot deny that God was working in our lives.

Before all this took place though, I guess I was just bobbing along on my own merry way and not really taking notice of what was going on around me. During this time, if I’m honest, I don’t think I saw God with me. I was too caught up in everything that was happening. Clearly He was though. How else can I explain that I am still alive? There are just too many coincides. This reminds me of the beautiful poem, “Footprints in the Sand”. I’m sure we have all read it, but it’s the last verse that provides me with the most comfort, and is what I feel God is saying to me about my life:

Lynne Cole is a full-time working, married mother to 3 gorgeous children . . . two girls (aged 7 and 6) and a little man (aged 4).  She blogs in the free time that she has, and her hope is that she is able to give people a little encouragement through what she writes.  She writes from the heart, honestly, about anything . . . things that have happened in the past, what she is going through right now and what she hopes for the future.

Come visit her at:

Blog: http://beautifullybroke.org

Facebook page: (she calls it ‘Lynne Cole – As Real As It Gets’) https://www.facebook.com/Lynne-Cole-As-Real-As-It-Gets-518922804933978/

Instagram: lynne.cole

Twitter: @LynneYWDB

The Gift of Life: A Two-Fold Miracle in God’s Beautiful Timing (Day 15)

This is the 15th post for our Write 31 Days series 31 Days of Miracles:Who is Our God. Today, Lynne Cole shares Part One of  her story. See her bio below.

We sat on the edge of the bed, and me and my husband just looked at each other. We wanted to start a family, but with the way our lifestyle was, we would struggle to make things work.

We lived a distance away from where we worked which meant that we were commuting for around 4 hours a day, and sometimes not coming home until the early hours in the morning. This was no way to bring up a child, so we decided to move. This took place at Christmas time in December 2004. Yeah, it was probably not the best time of the year to move, but we got through it. Soon after, once we had settled, we then started trying for a baby.

We thought that it would be easy. I had age on my side and we were both healthy and fit. We didn't expect a first time "hit" or anything, but we didn't expect to have disappointment either. We certainly didn't expect to have to wait nearly 5 years before I could conceive! The countless times that we were waiting for that positive line to appear. The first year went by, and we were still quite positive that God would help to give us a child. The second year went by and we then started to think that maybe something was wrong. By the time the third year came, we really started to question.

Are we meant to have children?

Did we not deserve to have them?

Could God see that we could make good parents?

Did He think that we wouldn't live up to the standard?

We then decided to do something about it and we went to our doctor. This freaked me out. I knew that we would need to go through the process of being referred to a fertility clinic to see why I couldn't conceive. This meant that my body would need to go under some investigations and examinations. This is what freaked me out.

I felt God saying at this point that I had to deal with some deep routed issues that I had. Issues surrounding my past and how I needed to love the child inside me. How could I bring a child into this world when I couldn't love the little child inside of me? How could I give birth to a child, surrounded by people I didn't know, when I can't even undergo a physical examination?
In 2006, I made the brave decision to face my fears head on and I decided that I would need counselling for us to be able to go any further with trying for a child. Little did I know that it was going to be another two years before I was to conceive, but this was how long it took for me to love that little child inside of me. The little child that went through sexual abuse so horrific. I had to learn to care for her and love her as though she was a part of me. She was me.

The first miracle...
Doesn't God have an amazing way of bringing things together? It's like when a painter is creating his masterpiece. He starts by working at all the different layers in the picture, starting at the bottom and working up. He doesn't just concentrate on one area either. He will work on different aspects of the picture. It might not be clear at the time when he is painting what the picture may be. It's only towards the end, when you stand back, do you realise what he is painting. That's when the bigger picture becomes clear.

 This was my time in counselling. There were aspects of my life that I really could not understand, but God really had His hand on my life and He was painting a beautiful picture. As my counselling was drawing to a close, I fell pregnant! I remember clearly, thinking that God does do amazing things, and in His time. He had answered the countless prayers that we had prayed. This was a two-fold miracle though. Firstly, overcoming the abuse that I had endured as a child and becoming a survivor. And secondly, becoming pregnant.

The second miracle . . .

Join us tomorrow to hear Lyann share two more stunning miracles God has performed in her life.

Continue with Part Two of Lynne's story here.

Lynne Cole is a full-time working, married mother to 3 gorgeous children…two girls (aged 7 and 6) and a little man (aged 4).  She blogs in the free time that she has, and her hope is that she is able to give people a little encouragement through what she writes.  She writes from the heart, honestly, about anything… things that have happened in the past, what she is going through right now and what she hopes for the future.

Come visit her at Blog: http://beautifullybroke.org

Facebook page: (she calls it ‘Lynne Cole – As Real As It Gets’) https://www.facebook.com/Lynne-Cole-As-Real-As-It-Gets-518922804933978/

Instagram: lynne.cole

Twitter: @LynneYWDB

An Unbelievable Peace: Three Generations Being Made Whole. (Day 13)

This is the thirteenth post for our Write 31 Days series 31 Days of Miracles: Who is Our God. Today, Kristina Notestine shares her Grandma's story.

 My grandma has always been such an inspiration to me. God gave me the grandma that I have to show that through God our lives can dramatically change forever. Life for grandma has never been easy. There has been constant dysfunction and pain in every aspect of her life. But grandma keeps pressing on. Her constant leaning on God and always dwelling in His word wasn't always like that for her. 

At a tender age of two, my grandma's dad died. A few years later her mom remarried his brother. It ended up being a horribly, emotionally, damaging relationship built upon his alcoholism and abusiveness towards her. I can only imagine that pain and confusion that she had growing up with that relationship. She moves out and gets married to my grandpa. Together they started a family as they traveled around place to place because grandpa joined the Air Force. Grandma continued to hold onto the hurt and anxiety from her childhood which made her leave her family three times in a 7 year period. My mom said that the first time grandma left was unexpected and no one knew where she went. The last two times she committed herself into a mental hospital after having a nervous breakdown. At that last time, she stated that she wanted a divorce. Both my mom and aunt told me how they both withdrew from the family unit during that time. It was so hard to deal with avoiding it seemed to be the best thing. As my mom put it, as soon as she graduated, she moved out immediately to go live with my dad. That summer grandma and grandpa got back together. But life just went on as much as it could until a year and a half after coming home from mental hospital through the relationship of my aunt's friend and friend's mom, my grandma became a Christian.

When I asked my grandma now about how she felt after she became a Christian, she told me that she had a peaceful mind and that she felt different towards others. To simply put it, she had unbelievable peace. When she become a Christian, she clearly heard that Holy Spirit tell her that grandpa and my aunt were going to become Christians in her life. To this day this is something that she has held onto and will continue to hold onto until she dies. This simple statement of faith and what I have seen has always impacted my life. And it was only because God got ahold of her and gave her unbelievable peace.

Becoming a Christian and having this unbelievable peace was the only thing that changed in her life. My grandpa now was retired from the military and began to take up drinking on a daily basis. He was this man that had a rough exterior but as you got to know him, he did have a soft side. But the drinking brought out the worse of him. When we confronted her with our frustrations, her response always was, "It is only by God's grace." We witnessed often that unconditional love that she showed to him. She practiced this constantly by drawing near to God through His word from her huge stack of verses cards and getting involved in church.

After she became a Christian, grandma constantly told her love ones that she was praying for them. Mom said she just blew her off. But through grandma's praying and God's intervention when I was 2 years old, both of my parents became Christians. I too also became a Christian when I was 7. Our generational shift was already happening.

When my dad retired from the military in 2000, we moved back to where all the grandparents were. This is where I really got to know grandma and life as she lived it. I saw a person that dealt with an angry drunk with tons of grace and through that saw the softening of my grandpa's heart.

Since 2000, my family and I got to see the slow transformation of grandpa from completely not wanting to talk about God to being completely open to talk about God anytime with anyone. He would always joke around that he couldn't enter a church building without it caving in. But near the end of his time here on earth, he would come and pick up grandma up and actually sit down during fellowship time and talk to people who came to talk to him. God was most certainly working but He was using heavily my grandma in his life. This interaction with my grandfather has always made an huge impact in my life and the way I treat my husband who also struggles with the things of God. Her absolute faith that God told her that grandpa was going to become a Christian motivates and moves me to pray and live the same way.

 

This past December my grandpa died of a weak heart because of all the stress of taking care of my grandma who now suffers with a form of dementia. It happened during the night. He got out of bed stating that he had chest pains before falling on the floor. My grandma and uncle called the ambulance where they stabilized his heart until they got to the hospital. And then he had another heart attack and died.

Because of my grandma's faith, I believe that my grandpa accepted Jesus as his Savior. None of us can judge or think it is nonsense because anything is possible with God. Just seeing him soften throughout the years constantly seeing and hearing the gospel, I don't know when he did believe but when my grandma dies, she is going to see him in heaven.

After grandpa died, my grandma now lives in a nursing home. Yes, she is sad but if you talk to anyone there or who knows her, my grandma is still very much in peace. She always takes the advantage of any opportunity to tell someone about God. Since she can't see well and can't get around without an wheelchair, all she does is sit in her chair listening to hymns and to someone reading the Bible on C.D.

Through my grandma's example, I can hold onto the fact that God can graciously change my life dramatically. He does that when I hold onto the promises and commands in His word just like grandma does. He does it through constant reliance on Him. He does it when I can recognize my need for Him. I am so thankful for my grandma and all that she has taught me by word and by her actions.

Love you, grandma!   

 Kristina is a wife, mother to one little girl and a regular blogger at Progressing through Grace. Her blog enables her to share her journey of progressing through life in God’s grace and Word to encourage and challenge both herself and her readers. You can connect with Kristina on Twitter @krisflick and Facebook at Progressing through Grace.

Trying to outrun the Hound, but steadily losing ground

Continued from The Hound of Heaven Winks

It is easy to overlook miracles, until you've experienced one from a front row seat! Once you have eyes to see the evidence of God, His involvement is hard to miss! 

I have these front-row seat experiences at such a regularity, I call them Sacred Echoes, borrowing Margaret Feinburg's title of her book by that name. They have a repetitive nature, in case I miss the Message the first time!  People always tell me I have the most amazing stories. I can't deny it. But I believe we all live amazing Moments of God's extravagant Presence, if we have eyes to see the miracles that we too often miss.

Readers obviously like a feel-good story. My last post, The Hound of Heaven Winks racked up page views, comments, and shares, and initiated emails, phone calls, and community chats more than any other post to date, blowing past long time front runner, Celebrating Mediocrity.

My last post ended with Roma, my son, adopted at age seven, now nineteen, heading to Georgia after trying to give God the slip as he left the halfway house in Florida. If you didn't read The Hound of Heaven Winks, you must go back and read about our awesome God. (And if you didn't read But the Greatest of These is Love, the story full of miracles about our adoption, again, you must read about our awesome God!)

After Roma had been in a suburb of Atlanta for almost three weeks without a job, I started to wonder how he had money to eat. The possibilities were troubling. We kept open the lines of communication, "speaking" daily, mostly by texts.

I am part of a private, supportive adoption group on Facebook. I posted, on Sunday, May 24, asking for prayers for my lost boy. One member, Nancy, messaged me to ask how she could  help. She lives near Atlanta too. I mentioned that I hoped Roma's thirst for God would drive him back to church one day soon. She graciously offered to invite him to her church, Passion City Church where Louie Giglio preaches. I knew of Giglio from a video, but all I could remember about it was the amazing universe God has created and big suns! I did't know much more about him other than he knows a lot about outer space!

On Wednesday Roma shared that he had had nightmares the previous night. I have never know him to have trouble sleeping, even when he first joined us at age seven. I interpret the nightmares as confusion and spiritual warfare. There is a battle raging against terrifying enemies!

On Thursday Nancy messaged again, asking if her daughter, close to Roma's age (wise woman!) could call him and invite him to church on Sunday evening, to a service that attracts many young people in the congregation. I was pretty confident Roma would go. He is an extreme extrovert, and has probably been spending too much time alone, in front of a screen of some kind. His soul is dry from pursuing the world and trying to elude God. I know this because another Facebook sister has told me that is what she is praying for my boy—that he becomes thirsty for relationship with God. I gave Nancy Roma's number.

Then I contacted Roma and asked permission to give a stranger his number, in case he needs anyone down there, and oh, by the way, she might invite him to her church. We texted back and forth and finally he said "sure, whatever," which I interpreted as an enthusiastic "YES!" (Well, it definitely was not a "No!")

Nancy and I frantically messaged back and forth. Her daughter called Roma. She reported that he was "very pleasant." He would consider the invitation, and call her back in a day or two.

Often I decide to drive in silence on my 15-minute commute to my part-time job, in order to "Be still and know that God is God." But on Friday morning, May 30, I decided to tune in to my Christian radio station, WAVA, in case God had a message for me. Focus on the Family was beginning, and the morning's guest was none other than Louie Giglio. I just shake my head sometimes and marvel at God's creative provision. I almost felt Him smiling and asking from the passenger seat, "Are you paying attention, dear one?"

"Examining My Past for a Better Future" was the title of Giglio's message that morning—exactly what Roma needs to hear. Older adopted kids carry heavy baggage of grief, loss, and abandonment from their  past that is too bulky for ill-equipped young souls to carry alone.

After work, I contacted Nancy again, a woman I have never met in flesh and blood, but who is suddenly my sister. God, Himself has introduced us! I messaged her to share about the Holy time with Louie and God in my car.

Nancy reported on Saturday that Roma had called and wasn't available to attend church this Sunday, but maybe next Sunday. A little later, Roma called me to say he wanted to come home to Maryland. He was restless and disillusioned in Georgia. I reminded him it was not our idea for him to go to Georgia, but he shouldn't bail out again when things get difficult, but stay and learn the lesson! I was secretly happy he was experiencing that dryness that my friend was visualizing for him. I suggested he accept the church invitation. Without a job, what could he be doing of any importance on Sunday evening?

Later Nancy messaged to say Roma had called and had changed his mind about attending church with them.

Nancy's family picked Roma up on Sunday at 3:30, and spent some family time with my lonely boy, until the service started at 5:00 pm. As they were picking him up, I headed into my newly requisitioned prayer closet that I have utilized since Roma went AWOL in Florida. After spending silent time in the dark and praying, I headed to my favorite chair and opened the Bible for the next phase of the battle. God led me to Psalms. I "randomly" (right!) began in chapter 139.  I was struck in verse 5 by the image of "hemming in" which had been the words of yet another Facebook sister. Then by the time I was at verse seven, I had the image of the Hound of Heaven again: "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?"

Verse 13-14: "You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

I read to the end of Psalms and stopped to eat. I checked my email, and another new sister had sent me a link to a Louie Giglio video. It just happened to be the one I have seen, about the universe, "How Great is Our God." I sat and watched all 40 minutes of it. When he started quoting the same verses I had just read, in Psalms 139, around the 19 minute mark, again I smiled, acknowledging God's presence, and His question, "Are you paying attention, dear one? Don't miss the Miracle of My Presence!"

Monday's report brings news that Roma is actively looking for a job, and plans to return to church next Sunday. His new "extended" family in Georgia has displayed the love of Christ to my spiritually parched boy. Love like that is hard to refuse!  

    

Thanks to all who have entered the Pursuit on Roma's behalf with your prayers and answering the still small Voice to respond to Roma and me. I am comforted and awestruck as I imagine God's earthy creatures joining the Heavenly realm in the pursuit of one lost soul.  

Try as we might, we can never elude God. The best we can do is deceive ourselves that we have hidden from Him.  Perhaps, like Saint Augustine, we pray for God to take away our lust for worldly things. And like Saint Augustine, we add, "but don't do it just yet." We don't understand that only Living Water can satisfy this hunger and thirst.  Like it or not, we are made for God.

It is impossible to grasp the depth of God's love for us. "What are humans that You are mindful of him?," David asks in Psalm 8. I ask too. But I am reminded by God, who is always nearby, that Roma is a treasured child of the most High God. So am I. So are you. 

Why do we want to hide from that kind of Love?

Continue this story with Angels and Demons, part one