Monday, October 3, 2016

Our Faithful God, 31 Days of Miracles

Day four, by Anita Ojeda

(Day three, A Wooing Love)




“Does your husband have any siblings who could donate white blood cells?” the doctor asked me when he met me in the hallway outside of Pedro’s hospital room on the eleventh floor of UCSF Medical Center’s Long building.  

“He has a brother that lives about two hours away,” I replied.  “Why? What’s happening?” I asked.

“Pedro’s white blood cell counts aren’t going up, even though he’s had platelet transfusions and blood transfusion. The yeast infection in his blood has colonized and it’s a race...” His voice trailed off.

A race against what? I thought.  No, wait. I didn’t want the answer to that.

Just three months earlier Pedro had received a clean bill of health from his oncologist.  After four rounds of chemo, Pedro’s non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma was firmly in remission.  The remission lasted a mere month before the cancer cells attacked again—this time crossing the blood-brain barrier and entering his spinal fluid.

In two months Pedro’s athletic 190 pounds had melted to an emaciated 130 pounds.  His once expressive face had frozen in a permanently slack position as the lymphoma cells paralyzed his facial muscles. 

In the past week, his condition had worsened.  A few days after a particularly heavy dose of chemotherapy, a yeast infection in his blood had taken over his body—right when the chemo drugs had eradicated all of his white blood cells.  He had nothing left to fight with.  

A thousand miles away, the students and staff at the small private school where I worked had spontaneously gathered in prayer at the end of chapel service to pray for Pedro. Church members and friends of friends prayed for him as well. 

In Need of a Miracle

I spent a tense day in the hospital. Pedro seemed unaware of much that went on, which frightened me more than anything else. At only one other time had he not understood what happened around him.  I felt sure that the end had come.  

That night he woke up frequently, and each time I buzzed for the nurse, she arrived within seconds (normally, the busy nurses would finish the task at hand before coming to Pedro’s room).  By the time doctors did their rounds at ten the next morning, I had contacted Pedro’s brother and let him know of the possibility that Pedro might need a white blood cell transplant.

When I saw the same doctor in the hallway an hour later, I rushed over to him and said, “Pedro’s brother is in New York right now, but as soon as you give the word, he’ll fly back.”

“No one’s told you?” the doctor asked with a grin on his face.

“Told me what?”

“When we checked his blood this morning, Pedro has white blood cells! He won’t need a transplant because his body started producing them on its own two days earlier than we expected.”

“Seriously?” I closed my eyes and breathed a prayer of thanksgiving.

“None of us could believe it,” the doctor continued, “we’ve never seen someone’s white cells come back so quickly after chemo.  It’s a miracle.”

Pedro, the Walking Miracle

The yeast infection in his blood took another painful week of experimental treatments to conquer—but with the miracle of white blood cells, Pedro survived the treatment. 

The next month, his doctors declared that he had once again entered remission and could begin the stem cell transplant process.  He spent a week at home at Christmas time before he headed back for his final round of chemo and the stem cell transplant. 

Each day in the hospital he confounded the doctors by walking more laps than the day before and regaining mobility in his face.

“You know,” one doctor commented, “patients don’t usually gain weight and mobility this soon after chemo.”

A year later, when he returned for his 12-month check up, word spread around the office that the Walking Miracle had arrived.  Doctors and nurses kept popping by the exam room to take a peek. 

What to Do With the Miracle

When we experience a miracle, we often wonder what to do with it.  How does the knowledge of the miracle change us, and does the change than require that we move in a different direction in our lives? 

We believed in God and strove to do his will before Pedro got sick, so for many years we assumed that the miracle happened to influence someone else’s faith.  And maybe that’s true—after all not many men of science use the word ‘miracle.’

The experience strengthened our faith and made us more aware of the precious gift of life.  It subtly changed the way we viewed bad things that happened to us, and how we reacted when things didn’t go our way. 

When our youngest daughter spent 18 months with an undiagnosed mental illness, I cling to the memories of Pedro’s miracle and knew that God would prove himself faithful once again—even if I didn’t like the results (we almost lost her a time or two). 

I have learned that all of my problems are God-sized, and he wants to enter into my pain and suffering and fix the problems for me. As a fixer and a doer, this has been a huge burden off my back.  I don’t have to fix anything.  God will do the fixing for me.



While the miracle of white blood cells happened overnight, the miracle of God’s bigger plan takes longer to unfold.  I like to paraphrase Micah 6:5b “Remember your journey from cancer to cure, that you may know the righteous acts of the Lord.”



Anita Ojeda juggles writing with teaching high school English and History at a small private school for Native Americans. She writes about her caregiving journeys over at her blog Blessed (but Stressed) and about writing, photography and books at AnitaOjeda.com. When she’s not lurking outdoors looking for and photographing rare birds in odd places, you can find her hanging out with her husband, camping with her kids, or mountain biking with 
her students. You can read more about her husband’s cancer journey here.


A Wooing Love, 31 Days of Miracles

Day 3, by Joy Lenton


(Day 2, Pursuit of the Cross)







My eyes barely left the screen, riveted by what I was seeing. It was few years ago when revival broke out in Lakeland, Florida. There was a special Holy Spirit outpouring and impartation that was a wonder to behold. We joined in, prayed and sang along, hearts and voices linked via GOD TV satellite transmission, lapping it up like thirsty desert dwellers.

Miracles were almost commonplace, as were signs and wonders. Each day thousands of people were saved, brought into God's Kingdom, baptised. They were rescued and restored, healed from whatever chains had held them captive - be it addiction, disability, sickness or pain of any kind - and given a fresh anointing to serve and live more freely for Christ.

It initiated a deep soul yearning within, brought back hope, stirred my faith enormously. Maybe this... this event, this special manifestation of God's presence was a sign of physical healing being available and imminent for me too? My faith said yes and my heart truly believed it to be possible. I ached for relief from the burden of chronic illness and disability that had stolen many active years from me.

Amongst the healing taking place, I witnessed a paralysed woman,
wheelchair-bound for over 20 years rise up and walk, unsteadily at first as limbs trembled with weakness and unaccustomed exercise. A few weeks later I saw her again – bubbling over with health, strength and vitality, walking steady on her legs, dancing (in high heels!), and so joyful with the amazing changes wrought in her previously wounded, broken body.

Tears filled my eyes as I celebrated the tremendous miracle they were privy to. Oh how I longed to be that woman! But it wasn't to be. I couldn't wish/pray/faith my way into a miracle. It wasn't my time, nor my healing. I felt crushed at first. Many had been healed, why not me? Plenty of people had prayed for me over the years, so why didn't it happen?

Questions tore away at my soul. Had God forgotten about me? No never. Did He love me any less than these? No way. God loves us all the same, unconditionally, wholly. He doesn't play favourites. But when we get disappointed our perspective can become skewed. We can fail to appreciate how God loves us more than we realise and has an individual plan for our lives. My faith resides in The Healer Himself, regardless of anything.

Once we moved on from watching the revival, I began to reflect how God had already healed my emotions when I was finally able to fully forgive those who had abused me sexually and emotionally as a child. Wasn't that miracle enough? I'd gone through a lifetime of  sadness and sorrow while I absorbed the guilt and shame. It was pure gift and grace to reach this major milestone after many raw years of counselling and deep emotional pain.

We tend to forget how salvation itself is the greatest miracle of all. It signals the start of a lifelong journey of being saved from ourselves, receiving restoration, renewal and sanctification leading to developing greater Christ-likeness. God's greatest goal for each one of us is that we come to know Him personally and surrender all we are into His hands, trust Him for every step we take, each stage along the way.

Sometimes miracles shout their name; sometimes they slip in unannounced, like shafts of sunlight filtering through curtains. What if we listened with greater intent, tried to hear how our lives are speaking to us? Maybe we would see and sense miracles everywhere, sacred slithers of God's grace invading and pervading the commonplace.

Because the greater miracle could look more like being sustained to stay put, to endure pain, grief, suffering, struggle, and to know beyond a shadow of doubt that God is right there with us in the dust and ashes. He companions us through everything but relies on us to invite Him in. Over the last few years God has been teaching me to look for the marvel in the mess, the miraculous in the mundane and the eternal in the temporal.

Each day we can consciously search out God's fingerprints on our lives, carve out time to sit with Him, make space for the miraculous as we go about our ordinary-extraordinary. I'm learning how it leads to greater awareness of grace and deeper gratitude and praise. We don't have to wait for a revival or a sudden miracle to happen. God willingly revives weary hearts, minds and bodies whenever we turn to Him.





I'm discovering that healing is a journey, not a destination, a process which looks different for all of us. Even if the healing doesn't come in this lifetime, God is still good and faithful. You and I are already being changed day by day on the inside, whether we are fully aware of it or not, and that's quite a miracle when you stop and think about it.  




Joy asked us to bless you with this worship song that she feels epitomizes what she has shared with us:
https://youtu.be/SiYAUNJPrMU

Joy is a grateful grace-dweller who weaves words out of the fabric of her days, penning poetry and prose in her PJs. As an M.E and chronic illness sufferer, she writes with a heart for the hurting and to support and encourage others who are struggling with life and faith issues.

She has had poetry published in various anthologies over the years and is author of 'Seeking Solace: Discovering grace in life's hard places'. Joy is also a contributor to the Association of Christian Writers (ACW) ‘More than Writers’  and Godspace blogs.

Although housebound and unable to get to church, Joy finds online fellowship and friendship with like-minded writers, and she is strengthened and sustained by the practice of contemplative prayer. You can connect with her on Facebook or Twitter and find her writing her heart out at ‘Poetry Joy’ and ‘Words of Joy’.


Visit Joy at: http://www.wordsofjoy.me/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/wordsofjoy75

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/WordsOfJoy/

Continue with day four, Our Faithful God

Sunday, October 2, 2016

The Pursuit of the Cross, 31 Days of Miracles



(Continued from Day One, Who is our God?) 

Day Two, by Debbie Barrow Michael




As one who has always had an awareness of God,  I have never doubted the reality of miracles. Yet, not until the early months of 2000, in my fourth decade, was I keenly conscious that God was weaving a miracle into my life.

God had recently whispered, and not very subtly to my unreceptive heart, an invitation to join Him. Even though I knew God well enough to know His Will is always best, I feared His Will would devastate my gods of Self and Comfort.

What had God whispered to my terrified soul? Although I was the mother of three children, ages 18, 16, and 11, God was unambiguous about His intention that my family adopt another child.

I pleaded with God to give me a different mission, but He refused to take no for an answer. The initial, vague theme of adoption gradually morphed into adoption of an older Russian boy. My fears increased.

The challenges of an older child, defined at that time as a child over five, with a possible history of neglect or abuse, sent me into a tailspin of dread. Surely God could find someone more willing and equipped than I for this seemingly impossible assignment!

I tried to ignore God. But He is all powerful and creative. He would not be ignored. I tried inventing alternate missions more suitable to my liking, but He made it clear, nothing short of total surrender would satisfy Him. He allowed me no peace. He interrupted my sleep, as I would wake suddenly, hearing someone, or Someone, call my name. I'd sit upright in bed, asking "What?"  But unlike young Samuel of the Bible (1 Samuel 3)  who heard God call his name, I did not answer, "Lord, I am your servant."

Still, God was determined  to transform me.

One evening, as I returned home from a self-assigned mission for God, I heard a soft plink on the wood floor. I bent down to see what had fallen. It was my cross pendant. I grabbed my chain before it fell too. But it was securely fastened around my neck. I was astounded.

I suddenly remembered the exact thing had happened six months earlier. I had thought it odd, and promptly forgot about it. That was before God had opened my eyes to His activity in my life. How many other times had God tried to reveal Himself to me, and I was blind?

How could the cross fall from its chain, with the wielded bale still intact? My husband, a scientist, assured me there must be an explanation. I removed the chain and handed him both components, chain and cross. He sat at the kitchen table as I handed him a magnifying glass. He forced a pencil into the bail, to see if it would separate at a crack in the solder, yet it held firm.

The incident defied explanation. A recently studied Bible verse echoed to me:

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5.

Now I was keenly aware of His Presence, and He was saying, and not very quietly, "PAY ATTENTION."


God answered my complaints of His interruption of my safe and comfortable life as He answered Habakkuk's complaint:

"Be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told." Habakkuk 1:5. 


True to His Word, God extravagantly rewarded even my reluctant surrender by the most beautiful, life-transforming story only God could write for my family. It was infinitely richer than the safe and comfortable life I tried to write for myself. God allowed me to experience the powerful and astonishing ways He uses ordinary people, like me, to accomplish His divine intention that we love one another. His Love transforms us.

I share our story in But the Greatest of These isLove. 

For the month of October during our Miracles series, I have reduced the price of downloads to $2.99. All profits from my book have always gone, and will continue to go,  to orphan care.



 Debbie Barrow Michael lives in Mount Airy, Maryland, in the United States. She is an artist and writer. Her book, Butthe Greatest of These is Love, chronicles her unexpected journey with God into adoption. Her blog, Consider it All Joy, at debbiebarrowmichael.blogspot.com is filled with God Stories, even during a tragic period in her life. Her greatest desire is to know God better, and make Him "visible" to others.

Amazon downloads of But the Greatest of These is Love are reduced to $2.99 for the month of October to celebrate our Miracles blog shares on Write 31 Days.


All book profits go to orphan care.

Saturday, October 1, 2016

Who is our God? 31 Days of Miracles:

Day One

For the month of October, Anna Smit from joyofthespiritwithin.wordpress.com  and I will be teaming to bring you stories of Miracles from around the world. A new story will be featured every day. Be blessed! 


wordswag_1473951037462Webster's dictionary defines a miracle as "an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs." (Italics mine).

Why would we need divine intervention? God reveals Himself in different ways to different people, according to His Will and our need. Sometimes it could be so a person can experience God personally for the first time, or in a new and intimate way. A miracle's function might be to save someone from harm, or bring encouragement. It could be an emphatic affirmation to become alert to His leading. The ultimate objective of miracles seems to be about God desiring to communicate with us! It is a humbling thought.

When we think of miracles, often we think of monumental phenomenon of Biblical proportions, like God parting the Red Sea so the Israelites could pass safely on dry ground, or Jesus changing water into wine, and feeding 5000 with five loaves and two fish, or bringing people back from the dead. Some "experts" argue that miracles no longer happen in this modern age as they did in Bible times.
Still others hold a strict materialist worldview that excludes miracles, and God, altogether. In Eric Metaxas' book, Miracles, he opens his first chapter with this quote from The New Yorker "journalist" "Adam Gopnik:
"We know that . . .in the billions of years of the universe's existence, there is no evidence of a single miraculous inter[c]ession with the laws of nature ...We need not imagine that there's no Heaven; we know that there is none, and we will search for angels forever in vain." 
Anyone who has been astounded as their life intersects the HOLY in an authoritative way, who know they have met GOD in a moment of profound change, are deeply saddened when people take the obligatory Divine out of the equation. After our spiritual experiences, we know better. Faith is no longer blind. Sometimes miracles are stunning and powerful, as Debbie wrote three years ago in this post Quantum Change, about a book entitled Quantum Change: When Epiphanies and Sudden Insights Transform Ordinary Lives.

When Debbie had her Quantum-Change, or "born again," experience almost seventeen years ago, she knew it was an interruption from God as He whispered to her soul, "Stay alert. Don't disregard what is coming. Never doubt what I can achieve." She is thankful for the powerful insistence. Otherwise, she would have been blindsided, and perhaps missed the biggest and best Gift of her life.

There are more subtle miracles too. The past nine months of Debbie’s grief journey of losing her twenty-one year old son, Roma, she has felt God so close, gifting her with reminders that all is still well in the BIG picture of Eternal Life. Often His Presence is palpable, and it floods Debbie with Joy and peace that passes human understanding, as He whispers: "Do you SEE how much I love you?"

G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English writer, philosopher, and lay theologian observed, simply, as we do, "I believe in miracles because of human testimonies," One need not look far to find stories of the miraculous, odd incidents that defy explanation, and leave us with a strong and lasting sensation of benevolence. I can't think of any examples of miracles bringing fear. Countless books have been written on the topic of miracles. Many people who have had an encounter with God and recognize it, rarely remain the same. A life changed to one of joy and peace, regardless of daily challenges, is proof of Divine Intervention. But the experience of the Divine is often hard to articulate in limited human words that fall short and insufficient. Also, it is sometimes difficult to tell others, fearing ridicule. It all sounds too crazy.   


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Debbie and Anna have never doubted miracles, perhaps because Debbie grew up with a single mother of three little ones and Anna with missionary parents who prayed expectantly for God's provision.  And Debbie’s dear mother and Anna’s loving parents were always quick to thank God and give Him Glory when He provided for their needs. Debbie’s mother's and Anna’s parents’ life-long devotion to God and their testimony have pointed to a Loving God who showed up in astounding ways! As children, they both watched and listened with wide eyes of assurance and anticipation.

We’ve seen and read and heard too many testimonies over our lifetime to doubt the existence of miracles, but not until Debbie’s fourth decade did she become astutely aware of her first personal Encounter with the Holy God. Debbie is sure there were earlier ones, but God was finally waking her up to a life-shattering, authentic, unshakeable faith in a personal, loving and redemptive God. And since that first miracle more than sixteen years ago, she has been the recipient of others.

Anna’s first very personal experience of the miraculous came as her mother was diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme and she palpably felt the peace of God descend, after more than twenty years of fleeing what she thought was an angry, punitive God. And later it came in inexplicable and very specific answers to prayers and in her astounding experience of God's Presence during a therapy session for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. People can deny miracles, and many do, but what we share, and what others seeking Truth share, we are confident, are true.

Why have we, as well as countless others, been blessed with miracles? We don't know the answer. But because He has shown up in our lives in extravagant ways, we know without a doubt that God exists and that He takes great pleasure in drawing near to and communicating with us.

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Join us in the coming 30 days as we share stunning testimonies of God showing up in powerful and intimate ways to encourage, comfort, open up to belief and alter the course of people’s lives. Yes, God is still in the business of “miraculous intercession with the laws of nature”. We pray that as you read along with us that God will draw near to you too, revealing Himself in a very personal way through these powerful testimonies to His very real presence, love, kindness, compassion and power.

Please feel free to share your own stories in the comments each day. Or if you prefer, you can private message them to Anna or me. We can share them anonymously. We are His Witnesses. God has written our testimonies and He has given them power.


Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Boys and toys



Continued from Darkness Falls 




Roma was a natural athlete. He excelled in all sports. He loved to play sports, to watch sports, to talk sports, and to read the sports section.
 


The reading part often amused me with some of the pronunciations. Roma and Bruce would talk sports over breakfast, and Roma could hold his end of the conversation. I marveled at his knowledge of so many games and teams and players. I remember the little fellow, reading to Bruce from the sports section,
something about the "At-lant-na" Braves. From that moment on, Atlanta became Atlantna for me. (Interesting that Roma would spend some quality time in Atlantna many years later.)
 


Last month, after more than seven months of backing out of the driveway past Roma's sad and quiet basketball hoop, I decided it was finally time for someone else to enjoy the often used and much loved hoop. In my imagination I can still hear the ball bouncing outside. I don't have to use my imagination to see the dents in the garage door.


 Our neighborhood has its own yard sale site on Facebook. I started to post it there. But suddenly I had a strong impulse to post in on the Mount Airy (Maryland) online yard sale site with a much wider audience. Why?, I asked myself. It would be easier to post within the neighborhood and have pick-up possibly involve no more than rolling it down the street. But I've learned to obey those nudges.  


I posted it on Saturday, July 16, and an hour later, it was claimed. The woman asked if it could be disassembled, for she had a small car. We had assembled it originally, I told her, so I assumed it could be unassembled. Bruce told me that it would be difficult to take it apart, so I told her she would need a truck. She reinforced that she wanted it, but couldn't get it until Wednesday evening. I started thinking maybe this buyer wasn't going to work out. But Bruce would be home then, so he could help us get it into the back of a truck.


 I didn't hear back from her until Thursday morning. Bruce wasn't there to help us. I messaged her to ask if she had a helper. We had emptied the water out of the base, and it was laying on the ground. It was heavy. I knew because I had helped Bruce lower it to the ground slowly so it didn't crash. It was too heavy for two women to hoist up on the back of a pickup truck, at least one in advancing years, and I don't mean my new friend Angela! 


I messaged Roma's friend in the neighborhood and I put a plea for help, explaining my need, on our neighborhood Facebook page. No one responded.  


 By the time Angela arrived with a borrowed truck, I was pacing, waiting for an offer of assistance, even a passing car. There were a few cars passing, but I could not bring myself to flag them down for help. She backed in and we had no option than to try it ourselves. My sometimes weak back had gone out the week before, so I was reluctant to try to lift it up to her as she stood in the truck  bed, pulling.
 


Surprisingly, we got it up onto the opened gate with little effort. We pushed it in horizontal, back against the cab. But it was too long. A third of it stuck out the back. So I climbed in, and we wrestled it upright and then I sat on the base. Without being filled with water, the base was not heavy enough to hold it upright. There I sat on the base, securing the weight, wondering what to do.

I had no choice but to ride in the back of the truck, sitting on the base, accompanying Roma's basketball hoop for its ride to its new home.  Luckily Angela had told me she only lived five minutes away. I could do this.
 


Then I had a thought.  "Are there many power lines across Main Street?" I asked Angela. We had both traveled Main Street many times, without considering the power lines overhead.

 "Not many . . . I think," she answered, realizing she had never given it a thought before.
 


"Just watch for them," I requested as I gave the high pole beside me a nod. She agreed as she got into the truck and pulled out of my driveway, as the full height of the basketball hoop towered above me. As we passed cars, I realized it is probably against the law to ride in the back of a pickup truck. Being a rule-follower, I laid down to at least conceal the evidence. All I could see was the sky until we got onto Main Street. Then Angela slowed down to a stop, as we neared the first of too many power lines. She got out of the truck to gauge the inches from the tip on the pole of the hoop to the wire, and slowly inched forward.
 


From my vantage point, looking straight up a too-tall pole, it looked as if we would hit the wires above. I stiffened my body with each near contact. I  would raise my head up a little occasionally to see where we were, and how much farther we had to travel. When we finally veered right onto her short road, I could breathe again.
 


Once in front of her house, Angela got out of the truck apologizing for the wires that were both more plentiful than expected, and too low to transport fully extended, regulation basketball hoops on the bed of a pickup truck! As we were lowering the precious cargo from the truck bed, I explained why I had mentioned the electric wires in the first place.


 "I didn't tell you why I thought of the wires, but my son died in December. He fell from a ladder after touching a power line." 


The horror on Angela's face spoke of her compassion. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I will pray for you."


I thanked her, as we returned to the truck cab for our five minute ride home.


 

After her mention of prayer, we were chatting about churches, and Bible studies. Then, I don't remember exactly how it happened, but I said, "My son was adopted from Russia." 


Then she caught her breath, and said, a little louder than expected, "My son was adopted from Russia, too." We talked fast the last couple of minutes of our ride, like two strangers who discovered a Secret together. We got out and I ran in to get her a copy of But the Greatest of These is Love. I'm curious if God worked on her like He did with me. We hugged goodbye, for now.


She added that although her son was only about to turn six he was very good at basketball."

 


Of course he is. Like Roma!

 


If she had come Wednesday night, when Bruce was home, he would have miraculously manuvered the unweilding device into the truck without help. If I had had an answer to my requests for help Thursday morning, I might have never known the rest of the story. She would have picked up the hoop with help, and been gone out of my life forever. If I had put it on our neighborhood yard sale site, like I started to, again, there would have been no shared connection, no evidence of God at work.
 


But as I rode in the back of a truck that morning, looking up at the clouds in a bright blue sky 
(and power lines, and low hanging branches), something magical was brewing.  A little boy from Russia was about to have a birthday, and he wanted a full size, regulation basketball hoop.



And Roma knew exactly where a broken-in and well-loved and unused one could be found. Cheap. Angela and I were blessed that morning. I hope readers are blessed too.


Thank you, Lord, for comforting me, reminding me You are not far. Neither is Roma. Happy birthday in Heaven, dear boy! 





Continue with This is My Son

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Darkness falls



This is one blog post I almost didn't write. It is so bizarre, so void of reasonable explanation it seems to possess an evil element.
                                               
                                       *     *     *     *     *     *


I had some strange thoughts as I was grappling with the raw devastation of Roma's death. Those first few days I was not tethered to reality. My mind wandered to the outer limits. Roma could not be gone. There had to be an explanation.

The morning after the accident, we headed back to shock trauma after we got a call informing us that Roma had been declared legally dead earlier that morning. The fog of overwhelming grief those first few hours played cruel jokes on my mind that was isolated from reality. I had a sudden hopeful thought when heading out to the door—the head injury. I remembered something from the Bible about a fatal head injury, but the Biblical character came back to life. Maybe God was going to bring Roma back to life. God could do anything. Navigating the haze, I later remembered the character fitting that description was the antichrist, so I had to abandon that hope quickly.  

But what came into the light over the next week was beyond weird. I have not wanted to share this information. But I have been completely transparent about everything, no matter how "weird," so I will share this too. 

Many of Roma's Facebook friends might have noticed this detail on their newsfeed last May, and thought nothing of it. It defies explanation. Others shared his post from May, 2015 after Roma died.

When my daughters and their families returned from Wisconsin and Pittsburgh for Roma's celebration of life, our house was a buzz again with activity. I was so distracted and consumed with planning, I hardly ventured out from that protective bubble I inhabited those first few days and weeks.

One evening I was aware my daughters Heather and Kellie were talking privately. Their  hushed tones didn't invite me into their conversation. I was suddenly curious because of their furrowed brows and intense expressions, and I heard Roma's name mentioned and then the words, "And the timing was exact."

I butted in, "What are y'all talking about?'

They paused, as though what they were discussing might upset me. They glanced at each other and one let me in on their secret.

Did you see Roma's Facebook post a few months ago? Back in May?" As I was wondering what Roma had to say in May could possibly be relevant now, one of my girls got her phone out and found the post in question.

It was a test on Facebook Roma had taken and posted the results. Roma often took such tests. I never take Facebook tests. I'm not curious about what Disney princess I am or what color my aura is.  This one seems equally innocuous. A zombie apocalypse test.

As I leaned in to read the results of Roma test, Heather and Kellie shot puzzled looks at each other. Here is a screen shop of his result.  






Counting six months and 25 days ahead puts us on December 7, the day the doctors pronounced Roma dead fifteen hours after his accident.
I was stunned. The exact timing. And the mention of "falls." Even a mention of "shoelaces." I flashed back to the morning of Roma's shoe lace breaking, and my near hysteria, when I had first considered the possibility of harm coming to him. I wrote about it in Succumbing to Hope.  

I don't know what it all means. Maybe it is a warning of evil. Can it be a random coincidence? A friend always tells me I have the wackiest stories.  It is true. This same friend told me in a dream to "write all this down." I shared that in a post from 2014, Angels and Demons part one, before the really interesting stories began. All my "wacky" stories have illustrated God's relentless pursuit and amazing activity in my life. But this story doesn't feel like God's activity. But, because it is true,  I felt I must share it. I don't know how God will use it, but I trust He will. Maybe it will do no more than warn people not to dabble in those dark areas of "harmless" magic and fortune telling. There are evil forces at work in the universe.  And there is power in that evil. 

I'm certainly not suggesting that the Zombie Apocalypse test had anything to do with Roma's accident. But I know that evil exists, and we should not play with it.


I continue to thank God for His comfort and pray for protection in this journey of grief. I pray our eyes are opened to see Him more! When the dark gets darker, the Light gets brighter. 

The joy of the Lord is my strength! 


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