Unpopular Christian virtues

The last time I mentioned sex in a post was when I compared my book, But the Greatest of These is Love, to the best seller, Fifty Shades of Gray. The two books share quite a few similarities, except maybe the "best seller" part . . . and, the sexual content. I've never read Fifty Shades of Gray, so there might be a few other differences. If you missed Fifty Shades of Red, go back and read it.

In the last couple of weeks, I have witnessed dramatic examples illustrating why illicit, forbidden, casual, uncommitted, recreational sex is not a great idea, regardless of what at least one participant was thinking at the time. Rarely does either party say, "this one act could adversely alter the course of my life, it might cause me to go to jail, lose my job, devastate my family, lose the trust of my spouse, BUT, it is going to be SO worth it!" No sex is that good. Some may disagree. 

At the risk of sounding like a prude, I will continue. My 18 year-old-son reminds me daily that we live in the 21st Century and none of this pertains to modern times. But I am curious why the obsessive distraction, often to our ruin, about the mysterious enigma of sex. 

We live in a culture where we are led to believe that sexual freedom is a birthright. Why else would people in authority insist that girls of any age have access to the "morning after" pill without parental consent, when that same child would be denied an aspirin at school without her parent's permission. The age of  consent in the U.S. is 16 in most states. In some countries it is as young as 12. To view "Mature" rated movies, one must be 17.  By that time, the horse is usually out of the barn, so to speak! 

 A hundred years ago, coming out of the long Victorian Era,  Sigmund Freud was concluding and teaching that sexual repression was the major psychological problem of mankind, and the indirect cause of much of Western society's woes, illnesses, and crime. Those Victorians were to blame, for being a prudish and uptight bunch!

The Victorian era, the reign of Queen Victoria (1837-1901), is considered by historians to be a period of peace and prosperity, refined sensibilities, and national confidence in Britain. (I consider it a period of beautiful architecture and furniture, since that is about all that remains from that period!) A recent Discovery.com article suggested that people from the Victorian era, which was marked by "an explosion of innovation and genius," had higher I.Q.s than people today. Interesting. So, are we getting dumber? (one mind-numbing episode of most prime-time TV should provide evidence!)

"Chastity is the most unpopular of the Christian virtues," writes C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity. Mere Christianity was adapted from a series of radio talks on the BBC during World War II, much like Roosevelt's Fireside Chats in this country, meant to sooth an anxious populace. 

Today, Christians' chastity, or lack of, virtually mirrors that of the world's, even though Christians are called to sexual purity. Even Saint Augustine, fourth century church father confessed that, as a young man, he prayed constantly for chastity, but while his lips were saying "Lord make me chaste," his heart was adding, "but please don't do it just yet."

I am remembering the messes in our families, communities, and government that promiscuity has caused that sexual purity, or self-control, chastity, temperance–words we don't often use anymore–would have prevented. Gone are the days when we hold self control and delayed gratification, or "refinement" of any kind to a high ideal. We have now achieved Freud's goal, complete sexual freedom. We now have cozy terms like "friends with benefits" describing mutually satisfying sexual relationships that don't involve, well, relationship. We seem to be devolving. 

Today we are free of sexual repression, and for that matter most "repression," in any area of life. Has that reversal improved our race? We have one of the highest teen pregnancy rate in the western, industrialized world, pedophilia, abortion as birth control, high divorce rate, children growing up without fathers, orphans, a growing prison population, rampant STDs, high suicide rates, high numbers medicated for depression. We teach the young people in health class to "wait until they are ready for sex." Ask most teens who think they are in love (which is often, with many) if they are ready. They are ready!


C.S Lewis opined, "the sexual appetite, like our other appetites, grows by indulgence . . . Perversions of the food appetite are rare. But perversions of the sex instinct are numerous, hard to cure, and frightful." 

I wonder what Freud would think today if he studied the cause of society's woes, illnesses, and crime. It certainly isn't repressed sexuality!

"Virtue," (another word we rarely use anymore) "–even attempted virtue–brings light; indulgence brings fog."  C.S. Lewis

Celebrating mediocrity

I have served (in "mission field" sense) as a high school substitute teacher the past thirteen years. As an observer of people, I have an abundance of blog topics supplied on any given day. A recent lesson plan began, "These are all excellent students . . . They will be taking a test . . .  Watch closely for cheating."  Excellent students will cheat? Really? Why do we call them "excellent"?  

In Screwtape Proposes a Toast, C.S. Lewis wrote, "What I want to fix your attention on is the vast overall movement towards the discrediting, and finally the elimination, of every kind of human excellence—moral, cultural, social or intellectual . . . 'Democracy' . . .  is now doing for us the work that was once done by the most ancient dictatorships and by the same methods. The basic proposal of the new education is to be that dunces and idlers must not be made to feel inferior to intelligent and industrious pupils . . . All incentives to learn and all penalties for not learning will vanish . . . the teachers—or should I say nurses?—will be far too busy reassuring the dunces and patting them on the back to waste any time on real teaching. We shall no longer have to plan and toil to spread imperturbable conceit and incurable ignorance among men."

These chilling, prophetic words were first published in the Saturday Evening Post in 1959. The essay was an indictment against certain trends in public education. The short essay is often included as an addendum to Lewis' The Screwtape Letters, first published in 1942. That popular book takes the form of a series of letters from "Screwtape," a senior Demon, to his nephew "Wormwood," a tempter-in-training, learning the methods of securing the damnation of man, referred to only as "the Patient." In the upside down world of Screwtape and Wormwood, the goal is to guide the Patient toward "Our Father Below" (Devil/Satan) and away from "the Enemy" (God). 

The "self-esteem" movement has been tracked back to the 1960's. (It probably was conceived as early as the Enlightenment and the philosophy of Rousseau, but that is another very interesting story for another day.) The modern movement hit full speed in the 1980's. Experts in education reasoned that if we, parents and teachers, made children feel good about themselves, their school achievement and behavior would improve. Teachers would no longer write corrective comments on students' papers for fear of damaging the budding psyches of young students. They would allow the students to "invent" new spellings of words. They would no longer teach them what was right and wrong, but let the students come to their own conclusions. Parents would give their children a voice in all decisions, and explain their motives ("because I said so!" was no longer a valid response) so the autonomous Self of the children could fully develop. And they would no longer give out ribbons to reward excellence, but instead give everyone a certificate of participation, so no one's feelings would be hurt. 

As early as the mid 1990's, there were rumblings that the Self-Esteem movement was not producing the desired affect. Rewarding mediocre work was not only NOT helping the students study skills and behavior, but by inflating their out-of-control egos with unearned, or even false praise, we were creating entitled, self-absorbed, apathetic youth. Even with evidence mounting against the self-esteem initiatives, no change was made to eliminate or modify them.

Let me be perfectly clear here—I sub at a public high school because I love the students. We adults are the ones who have created this alternate universe; the kids are just trying to survive in it! And many are having a difficult time maneuvering through the fog. Suicide is rampant among teens. In my 13 years as a sub, at least TEN students or former students have taken their own lives.  

The dad in the 2004 children's movie, The Incredibles, classically lamented, "They keep inventing ways to celebrate mediocrity." Research that same year exposed, contrary to expectations, that higher self-esteem was not linked to better learning or better behavior. An international math test found that although American students ranked low on skills, they ranked number one in believing they were good at math. They were also most likely to report receiving good grades in math. But inflated grades are necessary in order to match inflated egos. Today's B was yesterday's C. 

One educator opined that we have taught them to think so highly of themselves, they hardly think of anyone else. They are becoming unteachable, so certain are they of their own worth and correctness.  

Self esteem for hard work and accomplishments is a powerful motivator. But praise for the sake of praise doesn't make any sense. The kids are smart enough to get it! No one values a "certificate of participation."

Praise, like money, doesn't mean much to us humans, unless it is earned.